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Staying Home Alone...
A Parent's Responsibility
How to prepare your child, your family, and your home.
Now that you have taken the time to consider the possibility of self-care,
here are some essential steps to help make your family’s transition to
self-care a safe and positive one.
Remember, leaving your child home alone is an important decision. You
are asking your child to take on adult responsibilities and decisions.
As a parent it is ultimately your responsibility to ensure the proper
arrangements are made for your child/ren. You must always actively monitor
your child and consistently re-assess the arrangements on a daily basis
- Good Communication: Stay involved with your children by talking about
their day. Discuss how they feel about staying home alone and listen
to any fears or worries. Remember, it may be necessary to adjust arrangements
so it is important to discuss what is and isn’t working about self-care.
- Return Home on Time: Even being a few minutes late can cause children
to worry. If you are running late call your child to let them know and
prepare them for what to do if you do not arrive on time (Being held
up in traffic, traffic accident, transportation problems).
- Quality Time: Take time for your child in the evenings and on the
weekends. Participate in activities & hobbies together (reading,
playing games, recreational outings or sports) and ask your child about
planning a special activity of their choice.
- Chesterfield County Curfew: Sec. 14-9 Part A: It shall be unlawful
for any parent, guardian or other person having custody of a child under
the age of 18 years to allow such child to be upon the streets or in
other public places in the county between 11:00 PM and daylight of the
following day unless accompanied by a parent, guardian or some adult
person lawfully in charge of such child. (Note: this is only a partial
section of the code. If you have any questions, contact the county for
a copy of the complete county curfew code.)
- Safety Walk: Together with your child, choose and walk the safest
route home from school or the bus stop. Limit it to one or two routes.
Make sure to practice crossing the street, point out areas that are
off limits, and what to do if approached by a stranger.
- Check-in Routine: Establish a check-in routine that your child must
perform each day when returning home. The routine should include immediately
locking the door and who to call to check-in.
- Prowler: Children should NEVER enter a home if they find a broken
or opened window or an unlocked door. They should go immediately to
a trusted and identified adult and contact you and/or police. Also practice
what the child should do and whom they should call if they notice someone
strange or suspicious outside the house.
- Home Phone Calls: First decide if your child will answer the phone.
If no, have a system in place such as an answering machine, caller ID,
or special ring so you can reach your child. If yes, practice what the
child should say. It is a good idea to practice different phone scenarios
including what to do if they receive a prank call. Most important, a
child should NEVER tell a caller they are home alone.
- Strangers at the Door: A child should NEVER open the door unless you
have given permission that day to let a specific person into your home.
Even if a uniformed person (police, fire, utility) comes to the door,
your child should always verify with the police before opening the door.
If any person persists on knocking and will not go away, your child
should call 911.
- Computer/Internet Safety: A child should NEVER give out any identifying
information such as home address, school name, picture, or telephone
number over the internet. Remember people online may not be who they
say they are. Children should not respond to any obscene or threatening
messages and should know to tell you immediately. Also, get to know
services and sites your child uses and visits.
- Computer/TV Monitoring: Clear rules about computer usage and television
viewing need to be made and enforced. Decide what is appropriate for
your child in terms of shows they can watch and how long they may watch
TV when home alone. Computer limits that are appropriate for your child
need to be made as well. Get to know the channels/shows and internet
services and sites your child uses and visits. There are ways for parents
to block out websites and TV channels that may be inappropriate for
children. For better monitoring, it is a good idea to keep computers
and televisions in a central area in your home, and not in your child’s
bedroom or other isolated room.
- House Key: Children should never wear their house key where it can
be seen (around neck or on belt loops) and never show their key to anyone.
Never hide the key outside the house and have a back-up plan so your
child knows what to do and who to contact if they lose their key. If
your child can not keep track of the key, it is an indication they are
not ready for the responsibility of self-care.
- Emergency Information: The following information should be placed
by the telephone in case of an emergency:
- 911
- Directions To Home
- Child’s Name
- Parent’s Full Names, Work Numbers, & Company Info.
- Address & Phone Number
- Name & Numbers of identified & trusted adult
- Emergency Procedures: Going through emergency procedures will help
children react calmly and rationally during emergencies. Also practice
what to do if they miss the bus, lose a key, toilet overflows, pipe
bursts, or parents not arriving home as scheduled.
- Fire Escape Plan: All families should develop and practice a fire
escape plan. There should be extra planning for a child in self-care.
Practice, with your child, different escape routes so they know to immediately
get of the house if they smell or see smoke and then call for
help. Make sure your home has working smoke detectors that are checked
monthly and house numbers visible from the street on home and on both
sides of the mailbox.
- First Aid & CPR: Your child should activate the 911 system and
the dispatcher will walk them through any necessary procedures.
- Home/Appliances: Children should not use household appliances such
as the stove, toaster oven, or microwave when home alone. Plan ahead
and prepare "Safe Snacks" that don’t involve cutting or cooking.
Have a special cabinet or shelf just for food or snacks your child can
eat when home alone.
- Siblings: Parents must be very clear about which child is responsible
for supervision and teach them appropriate parenting and disciplinary
skills. A child that is ready for self care may not be ready to care
for another child. Does your child have the necessary skills and responsibility
to care for siblings? Do your children get along well together?
- House rules and responsibilities: These provide the necessary structure
for children, especially those in self-care. Together with your child,
establish written house rules and the child’s responsibilities. House
rules and responsibilities should be a written contract, with both parent
and child signatures.
- Establish effective rules: Rules should be reasonable. Rules should
be clearly stated. The child should understand the reason for the rule
and consequences for following or not following the rule should be clear
and immediate. Establish rules and responsibilities based on your family’s
needs. It is a good idea to schedule a daily routine around responsibilities.
Examples include:
- Chores: What chores must they complete? When?
- Homework: When must they complete homework?
- Computer: How long may they be on computer? Rules for internet?
- Television: How long may they watch? What shows/channels?
- Visitors: Will any visitors be allowed? If so, who and when?
- Play Privileges: Can your child go outside? Where are they allowed
to go and what do they need to do for permission?
- Telephone: Can your child talk on the phone? Time limit?
- Peer Pressure: Do you feel confident your child knows how to
handle peer pressure? Practice ways to handle different types of
peer pressure they may encounter.
- Guns: Strict rules must be made about never handling weapons
and discussion about what would happen if someone else had a gun.
Make sure all guns are locked up, unloaded, and away from where
children can reach them.
- Matches/Lighters: Do your children know that matches and lighters
should not be touched and are not toys?
- Rules are only effective when enforced. Consequences for not completing
responsibilities or following rules should be discussed and included
in the written house rules. If your child cannot carry out their responsibilities
they may not be capable or ready for self-care.
Virginia Cooperative Extension
Chesterfield/Colonial Heights
Department of Social Services
CHESTERFIELD COUNTY, A "FIRST CHOICE COMMUNITY"
To be the safest and most secure community of its size in the USA
Prepared by Emily Moser. Adapted from "About Latchkey Children"
by the Virginia Department of Social Services and "A Parent Guide,
How to Help Your Children Learn Self-Care" by a grant through the
Administration for Children. Virginia Cooperative Extension programs &
employment are open to all, regardless of race, color, religion, sex,
age, veteran status, national origin, disability, or political affiliation.
An equal opportunity/affirmative action employer. If you are a person
with a disability & desire assistance or accommodation, please notify
the Chesterfield Social Services Department at (804) 748-1100, between
the hours of 8:30 AM – 5:00 PM.
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